I want so badly to have something positive to say. I so badly want to feel joy. I want to have some gem of advice to leave everyone with, something you havent thought of and something that is sure to improve your life. But it feels like all of the original ideas are taken.

I’m also in a season where all of the positive ideas, thoughts, and quotes are falling flat. They feel like the people spewing them aren’t living my life, have no connection to my struggles, and have possibly never experienced the struggles I deal with daily. It feels fake and phony when their social media lives appear so perfect.

I started this blog in a season of self-growth. My brother, mom, and one sister had already passed away. I had attended a woman’s personal growth conference and returned ON FIRE! I was ready to tackle the world and I wanted everyone I knew to drink the same kool-aide I was drinking. I listened to personal growth podcasts, I wacthed motivational YouTube videos, and I posted positive quotes on social media. I began writing this blog as a way to help others as I had been helped.

I truly and naively thought my bad days were behind me. Surely I had suffered enough.

And then, as if on que, yet another tragedy; another life to grieve. My sister and best friend passed away after a year-long battle with Ovarian cancer.

So, here’s where Im at today. Life sucks. The suckiness doesn’t go away. There are always going to be shitty things that happen. It doesn’t stop. Like, EVER.

That’s my wisdom. Either we make bad choices, or others do, and we pay the consequences with our mental wellness regardless.